daftplunk:

If you ever hear me breathe deeply it’s not because I’m annoyed it’s because I forget to breathe sometimes

(via youdeservecompliments)

antongarou:

captainlordauditor:

gallusrostromegalus:

nonbinaryvexahlia:

zmyaro:

nonbinaryvexahlia:

one of the weirdest ways that language is evolving in response to the internet is that “bad words” just. do not have the same impact anymore. i constantly forget that some people think ‘fuck you’ is a terrible insult

so threats and insults have to start getting really out there if the person wants to even mean anything. if a person told me to die i’d shrug it off but if i opened a post’s tags and saw “op i will sneak into your house and replace all your shoelaces with cooked pasta” do you know how shaken i’d be? do you know how upset i’d be if i saw “op is the personification of the look you share w other people in the grocery store when some dude is causing A Scene™ for no reason”

So you are saying English curses on the Internet are becoming more like Yiddish curses?

I sincerely hope so but I can’t say I’m familiar with yiddish curses and i am begging you to tell me a few

My Personal favorite is:

“May all your teeth fall out, except for one, to give you a toothache.”

“OP is a complete onion.” (their head is in the ground)

“I hope I have the privilege of sewing your shroud” is another one I like.

“May you have a hundred houses, with a hundred bedrooms each, and ten beds in each room. And may the plague throw you from one bed to the other”

“May your death be sweet. Run over by a truck full of sugar”

“May everyone congratulate your widow at your funeral”

(via xenojackk)

hattedhedgehog:

Literally no trope emotionally fucks me up faster than “Character outlives their lover by many years and at the end of their life their lover comes to escort them from the world” like I only have to think about it hypothetically to start crying.

(via mysterekromance)

glitteratti:

im sick of being a person! im gonna go into the woods and lay down in the dirt and become a geological feature. and none of you are powerful enough to stop me

(via mysterekromance)

melancholymango:

I did the being edgy and self-deprecating thing, it gets old. I wanna be soft and lovely and easily impressed. I wanna appreciate all the little things that make me happy the same way I’ve dwelled on every single thing that upsets me.

(via mysterekromance)

allerliefste:

oh to be a little cat and sit in a windowsill

(via minetoannoyornot)

alexander:

(via vendettafrank)

jiminstvmmy:

love-yourself-idol:

doreenaloysius:

makebelieveworld:

naughtylistlester:

shakespork:

teaboot:

Supporting evidence:

1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.

2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring

3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!

4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.

5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.

6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!

7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!

8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!

9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!

10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated

11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc

12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks

this sounds like it was written by a really enthusiastic alien humanologist

i’m cRYING

spock, 10 years old, on his school science project

@blatterpussbunnyfromhell

“So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks” is the best part

i don’t watch steven universe but this reminds me of the character peridot

(via xenojackk)